June 23, 2011

Taliban Intelligence Report on Obama's Speech

President Obama announced his plans to begin the withdrawal of 10,000 American troops from Afghanistan by the end of this year, and as many as 33,000 by the end of next year.

This is how the Taliban's intelligence officers might assess Obama's remarks.

DATE: 22 Rajab 1432 / 25 June 2011
FROM: Taliban Intelligence/Qandahar Sector
TO: Excellency Mullah Omar (Allah protect him)
SUBJ: President Obama's Plans to Withdraw Crusader Forces from Afghanistan


1. SUMMARY: On 19 Rajab 1432, Infidel crusader President Barack Obama announced his plans to reduce the number of occupiers by 10,000 by the end of this year. We expect to see one brigade (approximately 5,000 troops) beginning to retreat in Sha'ban, followed by another brigade nolater than at the time of the pilgrimage this winter. An additional 23,000 troops will be withdrawn by the end of next summer.

In essence, Excellency, the infidel crusaders have given up. Our strategy to counter the so-called American "surge" has been proven effective. Victory is within sight. Allahu akbar.


a. This report should be read in conjunction with
our earlier report, "President Obama Provides Outline for Taliban Victory in Afghanistan" of Thu al-Hijjah 13, 1430 (December 1, 2009). That report detailed Obama's announcement of the so-called surge, but included a date certain for the beginning of the withdrawal of those troops. Thanks be to Allah that Obama has no military experience or training, and apparently no understanding of military strategy. He predicted his own defeat, and now that glorious day has come. As our friends and supporters in the hopefully temporary Kingdom of Saudi Arabia say, Obama has been hobbled by his own 'iqal.

b. Since Obama has no valid military reason to withdraw his troops, we assess that the announcement of the removal of 33,000 troops over the next year is a political decision based on American public opinion. Polls in the United States indicate that most Americans want the 10-year war to be over, and that the continued presence of American forces does nothing to further American strategic interests.

Just as our Vietnamese brothers did four decades ago, we have won the battle not on the battlefield, but via American public opinion. Although we cannot militarily defeat the cowardly Americans with their aircraft, drones and artillery, we have bested them in their own media. As Ho Chi Minh warned the Americans years ago, "We kill one of you, you kill ten of us. But soon you will tire of it and go home. We will still be here." The Americans are going home; we will still be here.

c. The infidel Secretary of State, the uncovered woman Hillary Clinton, claimed in a Congressional hearing that American and NATO forces have broken the momentum of our faithful mujahdin. Her fictional claims cause our beards to shake with laughter. Nothing could be further from the truth. We have allowed the crusaders to advance where we cannot stop them, and resist where we can. Yet, no areas that they have "secured" remain under their control without the continuous presence of their troops. The population is with us.


a. As in our earlier report, Excellency, we encourage the mujahidin to continue to conduct low-level operations against the infidels using the calendar as our battlefield companion. We should continue to wait out the Americans and their NATO subjects as they begin their retreat from our mountains. At that time we will rebuild the Islamic state we all crave. Now that we have a timetable when the crusaders will leave, we can plan accordingly.

b. We further suggest that our mujahidin continue to infiltrate the ranks of the so-called Afghan National Army. When the Americans determine that this force is capable of maintaining "security" (as they define it) in the country, more of the foreign occupation troops will depart. When enough of them are gone and the so-called army is deployed, we will order our embedded mujahidin to rise up and seize control. The Americans, weary of the war, will not return. Witness again their actions in Vietnam as their allies were crushed. So it will be in the land of the Pashtun.

c. The apostate Obama has spoken many times about American cooperation with Pakistan, yet there seems to be little willingness on the part of the regime in Islamabad to work with the crusaders. We should continue to exploit the rift between the two countries in the wake of the dastardly murder of our Arab al-Qa'idah brother Shaykh Usamah bin Ladin (peace be upon him). Our contacts within the Pakistani Inter-Services Intelligence Directorate assure us that any further cooperation with the Americans - including allowing unpiloted aircraft attacks - is from the Punjabis and Sindhs - the Pushtuns remain in our camp.

d. We are aware that elements of our organization are "negotiating" with the occupation authorities. We assess this is bearing fruit, especially in light of Obama's virtual capitulation to American public opinion and the extreme left wing of his party. This tactic has been useful as it encourages the United States to continue to spend money in what they refer to as "nation building." Look for Obama to continue to appease his party as he grovels for re-election next year.

The more the occupiers build for us, the less reconstruction we will have to do when they leave - it will all fall under our control as we re-assert our authority over areas as soon as the crusaders depart. We especially appreciate their building of girls' schools. Since we have no need for education of women, these buildings will make excellent offices for our renewed administration of the country.

e. Excellency, we respectfully advise that as long as the crusaders are continuing to retreat and continue removing their forces, you do not invite our al-Qa'idah brethren to re-establish their presence in our country. A renewed al-Qa'idah presence will give the infidel Obama an excuse to stop the retreat and increase military operations against us. Further, we believe that the reintroduction of al-Qa'idah even after all infidel forces have departed will cause renewed American air operations over Afghanistan. Although we are capable of defending ourselves, the crusaders do have the ability to cause great damage to our forces, installations and infrastructure from the air.

f. Sadly, we have distressing news on the hell-hole known as Guantanamo. Although the apostate Obama promised to move our brothers to civilian courts in the United States, the American Congress has prevented that from happening. Unfortunately, it now appears that our heroic fighters will be tried by military courts. We can only assume that courts comprised of military officers who have been involved in the persecution of our people will be disposed to further illegal detention and possibly execution.

The jihad continues.

4. CONCLUSION: The American president, the apostate Barack Obama, continues swinging at a goat carcass much larger than his club can handle. The Islamic Republic of Afghanistan - the truly Islamic state - will resurrect, thanks be to Allah. Then we will rid ourselves of the traitor Hamid Karzai and his ilk, and reform the status of women in accordance with the laws revealed to Muhammad (peace be upon him) and bring our society back into compliance with shari'a law.

Another invader will leave and we will progress on the path of jihad.

In the service of Allah,
Mullah Istikhbar